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  • Writer's pictureNurun Nessa

Who is your go-to person?

Updated: Oct 6, 2020

Often we find that we have silently assumed the role of a supporter. We are the glue that holds things together, the rock that keeps people grounded and the shoulder that others cry on. Here is my question to you ; Who is your go to person?

Friends and partners are not our Counsellors. They are here for moral support; YES. They are our cheerleaders; YES. They are here to lift us up; YES. However, what they bring to our lives may not be enough.

Those closest to you are a part of your life and just as you experience a situation, they will have their own experiences of this story too. This is not to say they are lying; but because no two people experience a situation the exact same way, with the same emotions evoked. It is important to remember your friends and family are not objective. Often this is easy to forget and leads to much frustration when expressing our thoughts and feelings to them. Perhaps you may feel judged when speaking to a friend about an incident that took place. Perhaps you may feel ashamed about something you went through. However, most likely you told a friend of something that had happened to you the day before- only to find the friend was half- heartedly listening or interrupting you to tell you of their very similar experience!

Therapists are here only for you. The moment you enter the room (or the virtual space) your therapist has promised you their undivided attention. Therapists are specifically trained to be non- judgemental. They are trained to help you process your experiences and emotions and most importantly they are only there for one side of the story. YOUR story. As you tell it.

From my own experiences of therapy I can tell you that no matter how much I could speak to my closet friends, my partner or my sister; I had never spoken to anyone the way I had spoken to my therapists. I found that often it wasn't what my therapist said that had an impact on me but more so what I could say to them that truly helped my growth and healing. I could be unfiltered, unapologetic and unashamed of what would come out of my mouth. This was liberating after years of worrying about how people would perceive me.

The best part of therapy for me is that at the end of the most monumental 50 minutes of my life I could walk out of the therapy room with no concerns as to how I had 'burdened' my therapist with my 'secrets'. In fact, I would step back out of the therapy room where everything still looked the same but it wasn't, because I wasn't the same.

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